It's been said the third time is a charm. We shall see. I didn't feel charmed or even charming when I walked into a Weight Watchers meeting this past Wednesday, after having lost and quit two times in the past few years. I felt like....a failure. I was angry at myself. I kept replaying the results of the scale I'd stepped onto a few minutes earlier. Kicked my emotional rear end over having regained the weight lost previously PLUS 10 lbs. Yes. Yes I did!
There is a sense of failure that seems to automatically come with starting over. On the other hand, there is a feeling of empowerment that comes from the same. It's bittersweet, and in that moment the bitter was more pronounced to me than the sweet. The sweet will come later--when I step on the scale to see that I've not returned with all of me. The sweet will explode when I step on the scale to find that half of me has been lost. Oh, yes, how sweet it is. Excuse me while I pause to dream a moment or two.....
Four days into my new eating habits and I'm not really having that much fun. I am thrilled that I started off on the Simple Truth plan instead of the Points Plus method. I seriously did not want to have to measure, weigh, and count every little thing I ate! Who has the time? Ok, so maybe making the time is exactly what will save me, but with Simple Truth, I don't have to be faced with the bother. I eat what I want of the power foods and any extra, off the list stuff, counts towards a 7 point daily limit. I can count to seven! No problem.
I'm eating good and eating plenty and, unfortunately, finding myself wanting to eat lots more. Cream filled donuts or pancakes were screaming my name this morning. No, I did not give in. But I wanted to. I really did. I am craving the sugar and goo and all such stuff that helped me put the pounds on in the first place. I know this will pass. The withdrawals and cravings will pass. But, today? Today is a struggle. One cup of sugar cookie herbal tea at a time to help curb the cravings. A bowl of fruit. Sigh...
I told my husband earlier today that perhaps I needed to take up smoking the new electronic cigarettes! Maybe the nicotine would help curb my appetite. He laughed at my partly serious joke. Hey! Don't judge me! I'm desperate!
I will keep you updated on my progress. And, in the end, I will decide if I agree that the third time is truly where the magic is!
