Friday, July 30, 2010

It's Quirky

(photo--complements of Curtis Thompson)

Ok! I confess. I have quirks! Who doesn’t? For a while now I’ve thought it would be neat to sit down and list my peculiarities that sort of….well….define me in some way. I hope you will enjoy these.

For the brave, I’d love to hear about your own quirks so leave a comment, if you dare!

Quirk 1: TIME--I simply must know what time it is or I cannot fall asleep. I can be comfortable and in that place of pre-dosing, almost gone, and remember I forgot to look at the clock, and then I must roll over and look. Yes, I will check the time regardless of the inconvenience to my comfortable position. I simply must know.

Quirk 2: POSITION & TOE HUGGING--When turning in for the night I must first lie down on my left side. (Of course--my clock is behind me.) My right foot big toe and the toe beside it part ever so slightly and proceed to hug the heel of my left foot. I don’t know why I do this. I guess it feels good. But…whatever the reason, I find myself consistently doing the whole toe-hugging thing as part of the sleep ritual!

Quirk 3: TOE FLEXING--I use toe flexing--or toe wiggling, whatever you want to call it, to put myself to sleep. But, I also use it as a form of relaxation and contentment as well as an expression of anxiety. I haven’t always noticed this about myself so am not sure how long I’ve had such a quirky habit. I have noticed that my dad has a lot of fancy moves going on with his feet as well—perhaps a family quirk?

Quirk 4: THIGH PRESS—I cannot--and absolutely despise--sleeping with my thighs touching. This is a newer quirk which developed while I was pregnant, thanks to all the advice to sleep with a pillow between my knees. Well apparently the pillow and my knees have formed quite a relationship. I now cringe if my thighs touch…even slightly….so hello pillow!

Quirk 5: WATER—I never leave home without it! I generally carry a plastic thermal cup (because they don’t sweat) filled with iced water, complete with a straw. I carry it from room to room at home. It sits faithfully by my bedside at night. I’m a wateraholic! When I am out and about and my water glass is close to empty, I begin to panic. It doesn’t matter that I can stop and buy more or that I’m only a few minutes from home. I panic. My son has developed this same habit. Strange, you say? Why yes--that’s why it’s called a quirk!

Quirk 6: THE NUMBERS GAME--I like to---need to—add numbers together. A lot. I add my house number, phone number, birthday, social security number….if it’s a number, I’m going to add it up. My intention, or the object of the ‘game’, is to add or reduce so that everything equates to the numbers 1 or 7 or a combination of the two. If I simply cannot make this happen honestly, then I allow myself some cheats. For example, I will allow numbers to be reduced to equations that consist of equal numbers (no odds) with our without the use of 1 or 7. Here are a couple of examples:

*My age is 47….. (4+7) =11…..two ones is perfect!

*My house number is 3520….. (3+5+2+0) =10…..which is reduced to 1 since zero doesn’t count.

*My son is 6….. (7-1) =6…..Swell!

*Or the number 19….. (10+7+1+1) =19…..here I use my cheats!

I know this does not make sense…that is why it is so quirky. But I admit—I just love it! And oddly enough, I will remember a room number if I have ‘crunched’ the numbers better than just trying to remember the room number as it is. Go figure….

I am sure you see the senselessness of this little game, but beware—it does seem to be a bit contagious. Ask my friends!

Quirk 7: HANDWRITING—my handwriting has multiple personalities. Seriously! I write so many different ways, all depending on the mood I am in. While I generally prefer a keyboard to pen and paper, when I use the latter method, I must write with whatever pen just happens to fit my current mood. If I fail to meet this requirement, I simply cannot write worth a flip! There will be no flow and the handwriting will look terrible. Sometimes it is a particular color of ink that is demanded—as if my hand had a mind all its own. Err; make that ‘minds’ of its own! I have often been amused to see the differences in my handwriting. Sometimes I’m amazed at how neatly I can write, and frustrated that I cannot just sit down and duplicate that neatness at will. Noooo, I must wait for the hand to decide it wants to write neatly. Go figure!

Quirk 8: PERFECT PEN FIXATION (as my friend calls it)—It’s true. I am pickier about pens than you know. I hate fat pens. Can’t even wrap my fingers around them without recoiling inside. I don’t know why! They make me almost anxious. And then those thin and slim pens—forget it! Too thin to even take seriously--why bother! A perfect ‘June pen’ has to be the right thickness and the right weight—slightly heavy. I prefer blue ink—dark blue ink. Well, most of the time--unless I’m craving green or purple and once in a while….black! My demand of perfection toward pens changes from time to time and with mood, but for now I like the dark blue super fine rollerball ink. I even like super fine Sharpies, but their blue ink is not blue enough. Bummer! On a side note here, I also don’t want to have to spend a lot of money on a pen. I think $80 is the most expensive pen I own and it was a gift from my husband. I prefer the cheaper pens. I change my taste for pens too frequently to make a high dollar investment in just one, solitary pen. And, finally—I am on the lookout for a good fountain pen. Any suggestions?

Quirk 9: THE ‘HIGH BROW’---I have an unconscious habit of raising one single eyebrow—my left. I have received numerous comments about it—even from strangers. I seem to have no control over it as people ask me to do it again and I seldom can. The eyebrow seems to have a bit of attitude going on! I try to control it. I really do—especially in pictures…but more often than not—there it is—raised in attention and smirking in the way that only a lone eyebrow can.

Quirk 10: HOARDING—I am a packrat. At least that is what my husband would say. I prefer to think of myself as a collector of…well…almost everything. Even when I don’t mean to, I collect! I’m not like one of those certified hoarders you see on TV that can barely navigate their homes save for the narrow path they’ve made. No. I’ve not reached that level—yet! I find I seem to be unable to throw things away without anxiety issues. Take pens, for example. I have pens that are several years old stored in cigar boxes. It matters not that the ink has dried up or that lids are missing (and no way do I use pens with missing lids. Ever!!) Even when I know they have outlasted their function, the anxiety builds at the thought of tossing them. Sometimes I have to leave them out and tell my husband to toss them later, when I’ve forgotten about them, and not mention it to me. I have this problem with magazines too. Honestly, I try to throw them out, but as soon as I glance the cover I just know that I might want to read one of the articles featured there. I might...Really! (OK. Probably not!) This is my husband’s biggest sore spot with me, I think. The magazines. And then I have paper and notepads and crayons and markers and…well…oops—boxes. I love those decorative cardboard storage boxes. And indeed I should….I’ve got to keep all my collections—somewhere! Final thought here….you’d be surprised how many things come in handy when you keep them around. If you can find them, that is! (I was able to share special seashells with my son’s classroom this past year. I have had them for a good 20 years packed away in a box…and never used them…before now!)

Quirk 11: DOG-EARING—I have an obsession about people not dog-earing pages in books (magazines are okay.) I cannot stand it and will make it clear to my dog-earing friends (you know who you are) that under no circumstances will I lend them a book unless they give me their word that they will not dog-ear my pages. Books must be shown respect! My friend, Christi, pointed out to me how odd it is that I obsess over dog-earing but frequently highlight and write in my books. It’s simply not the same! Markings such as these merely enhance a book’s worth and beauty. Of course, I am precisely picky about which highlighter is used and how neatly things are written in the margin of my books! And…my book loving friend has a totally different approach on the subject. She has been known to tear out an entire page of a book to send someone. She does it in a most sacred way. If she ever sends me a page from a book, I will know it is an honor above all honors. Alas, I cannot embrace this action in spite of somewhat understanding it. Books are just…almost…sacred to me (not to be confused with idols, however.) Please, please---use a bookmark!

Author’s note: Notice I listed 11 quirks! Two ‘ones’=perfect numbers! I suppose I could have gone on to 17……

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Naked Emperor



The emperor has long been naked,
But no one seems to see.
Only a few dare to point it out;
A sin not easily forgiven—if ever,
And never understood.

In spite of thwarted reality,
We don’t want to know the truth.
Rather, we dwell in our prisons
Where we know what to expect.
We’d rather keep our comforts--
All things familiar.
Than risk standing alone

Yet, together we are entangled
In a web of falsities.
We will die here--
We will!

But we fool ourselves with our
Feel-good experiences.
We tell ourselves they validate our misconstrued truths.
We excuse ourselves--
while persecuting others;
When we focus on another’s failures
We forget about our own
How much easier to be the accuser than the accused!

Only truth can set us free,
And no one has the monopoly.
There is only One Truth,
And it resides not in walls made by man,
But in hearts formed by Truth, Himself.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Ink-Tipped Sword


She dipped her sword in dark blue ink and placed it on the page
Voices--memories of the past had joined as one and raged
She knew the best and final way to lay the beast to rest
So now with sword to paper swift she hopes to pass the test

Things long laid dormant start to rise and finally speak their minds
Scabs and wounds of old—oozing secrets lost through time
To be heard is their demand—each begging to begin
With ink-tipped sword she ventures on to free them with her pen.

So much to say--yet words so few to paint the picture just
And yet the story must be told, no second thoughts—a must
Battle raging—much to lose, yet so much more to gain
Run on now words and fill my page and take with you the pain

Now if my story you should read, don’t just make use your eyes
For only through an open heart is heard the battle cries
For victory! And freedom! From the haunting of a past
The beast—conquered! Put to rest! Silenced at last

Let Freedom Ring!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bibliomania—Part Two





Hi! My name is June and I am a Bibliomaniac!




I'm beginning to see that I may just need to lay down some rules about book buying, even though it goes totally against my great thirst for collecting. Okay, so I went shopping at the Dallas Half Price Books again…three days later! In my own defense, when my best friend, Christi, arrived in town, being a bibliomaniac herself (as well as my partner in crime in regards to breaking the bank on book purchases), I felt she deserved nothing less than her own trip to the Dallas store.




Tuesday, Christi and I departed with great anticipation of great book deals. This was her first trip there and the excitement was obvious. Christi drove as we conversed the entire way. I'll blame the poorly marked intersection as the reason we missed our turn and not our intense conversation. On the bright side, our 15 minute detour in the wrong direction afforded us the luxury of looking at some absolutely beautiful homes and landscapes near Highland Park in Dallas.


Christi was awed when she first walked through the doors of the bookstore. I was so thankful I got to share that moment with her, as I assumed she felt much as I had on the previous Saturday. There really is a lot to take in!


We stopped to eat lunch at the attached café and to grab a cup of coffee. No use shopping while hungry. Afterward we attempted to stay together and look around but finally realized that it just wasn't working. We split up and went our own separate directions, each of us having our own slightly different taste in books. Every now and again we would text each other and meet up to discuss our latest find.


Finally we headed to a table—a shopping cart full of treasures, and enjoyed some pastries and coffee while perusing eagerly through our books. We had spent about 4 hours shopping thus far. Wow—were there ever some books! We had a stack between us.










I tried to remind myself that I had already purchased 47 books for the month and that I really didn't need more. However, I had ventured to the fiction section in hopes to find some fiction with real meat on the bones. I checked out a few authors that were recommended to me based on previous reading. To add to my challenge, I happened upon the fiction sale and clearance section. What a delicious find! So many great deals for just a buck or two. Some things you just can't pass up!




At the table, books stacked high, enjoying our coffee and calorie-free (NOT) desserts, we began talking about our discoveries. Of course I had to look at all of her books and she at mine--just in case one of us had found something that the other needed. Actually, that happened. Thanks to her I got a great mushroom cookbook on clearance and another on making salsa. I had just told my husband I wanted to start making my own salsa!








I can't tell you how painful and time consuming it was, sorting through the many books trying to decide which ones would go home with me. I was pleased that I was able to walk away with only 13 books. Hey—do you see that stack of books in the photos! I thought 13 to be conservative! And--all but three were from the clearance section. Two that were not were for my son, Wesley, in honor of my promise to bring him something home if he was good for his daddy. A little book bribery goes a long way!



It was a perfect trip for me. All six hours! My best friend, books, coffee, and sweets! How do you top that one?!!


(above: the 7 books standing up were only $1 each. The Far Side was for the hubby)


To ice the cake, Christi, Wesley, and I headed to the pool to cool off and relish the day after our Dallas adventure. We had such a relaxing time in the water. We hung out until close to 11pm.


It is what I call a perfect day full of great memories…well, all except for one mishap, but that is not my story to tell!


I'm giving it an A+


Oh—I almost forgot! Concerning the rules I need to lay down for myself (see opening line):


(Maybe) I need to read at least 4 books before I go book shopping again.


Unless there is a super sale somewhere.


Unless I have a great coupon that will expire.


Unless I just happen across something--by accident, which I simply know will make my life better.


Unless….well……


I'm really trying to stick with the 'read 4 books before you buy more' rule of thumb, but….life happens.


I'll get back with you later on this one. Until then—read a book!

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Bibliomania



As a Bibliomaniac, Saturday was a great adventure for me. We started a tradition in my family that rather than celebrate our birthday for a solitary day, we get entire birthday weeks. Saturday was the last of my birthday week and celebration of turning forty-seven. To borrow and old saying—it went out with a bang!


If you don’t like books and don’t like reading, then you probably won’t enjoy reading this I finally made the thirty minute trip to the Dallas, TX Half Price Books store! I am a big fan of Half Price Books, and have wanted to go to this one for quite some time. It is huge and is made even better by its accompanying Black Forest Café where you can enjoy coffee, tea, sandwiches, and a variety of sweets. What can be more perfect than a bookstore, books in hand and a hot—or iced as was the case, latte! Oops, did I fail to mention the comfy chairs?!


I was in my element! Because I savor the entire experience of shopping for books, meandering down most every isle, my husband and son, age 6, knew they needed a back-up plan while I shopped. After a bit of browsing, they headed to the nearby Dave and Busters to play some games and then visited Hobbytown USA. They were blown away by the latter as evidenced by the constant chatter all the way home over details of the store’s merchandise and cool displays. As of today, we are planning a repeat trip to a Hobbytown USA that is just up the street from us (who would have guessed—yay MapQuest)!


But back to me--the bibliomaniac, celebrating my birthday. I spent four hours perusing isles and looking through books. Prior to leaving I reorganized my iPhone list of books that I wanted. I typed it out in alphabetical order by author’s last name. I had four pages. To be extra certain, I took pictures of my present collection of books with my iPhone so that I could zoom in and check the books I already own just in case I came across something that I couldn’t recall having bought already. Are you starting to understand bibliomania a bit better?

(below: the cute journals I found--I especially love the big hair!)

After picking up two adorable journals (above), I headed to the Christian literature section. My favorite. I started at the ‘As’ and headed to the ‘Zs’. I was pleased to find several of the books from my list along with a few others. Next it was to the Psychology and self-help sections to pick up a couple more. And lastly I headed to the Literature section. I decided to go ahead and buy a couple pieces of fiction this go ‘round. I normally don’t buy fiction. I save that for library check-outs. But, now and again I come across an author I like enough to actually purchase the books with the intent to read them over and again.


In between the lovely browsing, I had an iced latte on two separate occasions and made two related trips to the bathroom. Naturally, there was a huge clearance section near the bathroom which I just simply had to browse. Lucky for me because

I found two great books just waiting for a home!


Above top: two bargain books
below:
Lisa See--one of the fiction writers that I really enjoy.

All in all, I ended up with nineteen new books! New to me anyway—slightly used may be more accurate. I attempted to share my bliss with my husband and son, but they seemed to think my books purchases paled in comparison to their adventure to the hobby store and the new Terminator game at Dave and Busters. Oh, well! To each his own! I knew a few people on Facebook that would be thrilled with the news because they can appreciate books for the treasures they are!





(above: son's artwork at Macaroni Grill; he loves drawing on the table.)





Afterwards, as if I needed any more bliss, my family took me to a nearby Macaroni Grill. I ordered my all-time favorite make-your-own-pasta-dish. I had the whole wheat penne pasta with pesto sauce, roasted garlic, sun dried tomatoes, and fresh spinach. Yum! Prior to my main course, I got to try the new Mediterranean vinaigrette on my garden salad. It was truly amazing (I need to learn to make one like that!)
























Heading home, listening to the details of my husband and son’s adventures, I was anticipating going through my new books, one by one, and reliving the experience of having discovered them there on the shelf. It was all I could do to listen to the conversation!



Presently the collection is sitting on the ottoman footstool waiting for me to make room for them on one of my many bookshelves. My husband reminds me that we are out of space on the shelves for books as if that is a deterrent to buying more books. I tell him that you can never have too many books and that stacks of books here and there look just fine!


I just realized that I have purchased 47 books from the Half Price Books store in a month’s time. OK, but before you judge me—let me just say that I bought them all at incredible prices and with percentage off coupons.


Happy end of a birthday to me….until next year!


I’m off to read a book!




Bib-li-o-ma-ni-a [bib-lee-oh-mey-nee-uh, -meyn-yuh]

--noun

Excessive fondness for acquiring and possessing books. (dictionary.com)

--or—

An exaggerated preoccupation with the acquisition and ownership of books.


(The American Heritage Dictionary)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Umpire of Peace


As the thermometer reading rises in acceptance of triple digit temperatures, my hope for an unusual & unseasonal bout of cold air swoons. I begin to envision things that can be done in the air-conditioned comfort of home. I plot how to avoid the out of doors and thus escape the exhausting heat. All the while I am trying my best to stifle the dread that always seems to accompany the extreme summer temperatures.

Nonetheless, I am not here to write about the heat (thank goodness), but rather another sort of thermometer that came to mind while reading Colossians this morning; an internal, spiritual thermostat of sorts. I speak of none other than the peace of Jesus in the heart of the believer.

Allow me to explain after reading the following scripture:

Col 3:15

15 And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. AMP

As Christians we are instructed to let peace rule as the umpire in our hearts. What would happen if we actually did this--all the time--in everything? What if each time we faced a desire to do, to go, to buy, to say, to act—we paused first to get the reading of our heart peace? And, we listened to that small still voice inside us that often can only be heard in terms of that feeling of peace or lack of such?

How would things change? What would be different?

Can you think of anything that you would not have done or would have done differently? I can think of so many. Items bought and never used that on impulse I felt I needed. The fitness club membership that I added that was never used but quite costly. That thing I said that I felt so uneasy about and now wish I could recant. Regrets: Regrets from failing to let Peace rule!

Sometimes I think we become too good at reasoning, justifying, making sense of why we should carry out our plans all the while ignoring the uneasy, unsettling feeling we have deep inside. Or perhaps the unsettled feeling just doesn’t make any sense. Perhaps that which we are looking at and longing for is truly needed and would appear to be such a blessing to us—it’s so sensible, but yet—that nagging lack of peace is consistently on the peripheral. We can’t explain it, so--we ignore it! Been there and done that one time too many.

Listen to what God’s word says about this peace in the following verse:

Phil 4:7

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. KJV


The peace which comes to us is not a peace that comes from our own doing, our own reasoning, or our own intellect. Quite the contrary. This is a peace that comes from God which transcends our understanding and our reasoning ability. We are assured that by following it, it will keep our hearts and minds.

Being sensitive to the Spirit and the leading of the Spirit is often as simple as listening to our heart. I’m not referring to the heart that we so casually refer to which is the same as the soul of man which is comprised of the mind, will, and emotions. For it is here that the root of fleshly lusts reside and our sinful nature wishes to rule! I speak of the heart that refers to that core of the believer, his essence—man’s spirit, where the Holy Spirit resides. It is here that we find the small, still voice dwelling of which I speak.

The peace of Christ is a powerful indicator. Sometimes it is as simple as the unrest that we feel--even when it doesn’t make a bit of sense that we would feel such, cautioning us not to proceed as planned. Or, times when we have total peace over a decision (that also lines up with the Word of God) and are prompted to proceed forward in spite of the fact that it seems to make so little sense to the natural man. Or, in spite of the fact that it may seem so politically incorrect. Stay-at-home moms come to mind. I recall many stories of women feeling prompted by the Word of God and His Spirit to stay home and be moms first and foremost. That heart peace was so evident in their decisions and yet they knew it didn’t work on paper and didn’t make sense to the world that puts emphasis on possessions over all else. And yet, their stories are remarkable as they dared to live as they were led by the Spirit (evidenced by the peace), and the awesome ways that God supplied needs, opened doors, and even restored strained marriages! Somehow, through it all—God always knows best (imagine that)!!

At times when we find ourselves in a seeming constant state of unrest in our spirit, it would do us good to stop and examine ourselves before the Lord. It would be a good idea to pray and ask God to show us where we got off track and stopped following His will. When the peace leaves, more often than not, we are out of the will of God and following our own path. Somehow we have begun to follow our own desires and failed to seek the reading on the spiritual heart thermometer.

I can’t afford to live without the peace of God! It is the evidence of God’s promise that my heart and mind is being kept—kept in line with God’s will for my life and on the right path—the one that leads ultimately to the final prize of eternal life.

Stop and listen! Examine your own heart. Are you comforted by the peace of the Lord? And peace does not mean that your life is sailing smoothly without a trial. Not in the least! In the midst of our trials, our struggles, we can still find the heart peace that assures us that we are in His perfect plan!

If you find that you are lacking such peace and have been for a while, I encourage you to seek the Lord. He cares and will show you where you got off track and help you step back into His plan. We all find ourselves, from time to time, in places of unrest where God’s peace is nowhere to be found. Places where our thermostat readings have gone askew and are in need of adjustment. God will adjust us if we allow Him. We can’t conjure up lasting peace. Only the peace that comes from God, our Father, is genuine and able to carry us across the finish line!

Loving Father—thank you for the peace that you have promised us through Jesus Christ! Tune us in, Lord, making us sensitive to our inner heart—Your inner workings, and acutely aware of Your leading. Let our minds and hearts be kept secure in the peace that comes only from following Your will. Let that will-- Your will, be done in and through us!
In Jesus name we pray. Amen!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Discouragement

Sometimes it’s all too easy to get bogged down, overwhelmed, and discouraged by our circumstances. We may find our self, if not careful, deeply involved in our own pity-party. Discouragement—such a powerful tool of our enemy! It so easily swallows us, robbing us of hope and distracting us from our purpose. Our focus, amidst the discouragement, begins to shift until we become totally fixated on our insignificant smallness in contrast to our mounting obstacle of circumstances. And this is exactly what the enemy hopes for. But, as always, the enemy uses a twisted truth (thus a lie) as bate on his hook when hoping to lure us into despair. The truth is—we are much smaller than many of life’s challenges. Inept at handling so many crises on our own. But the truth doesn’t stop there, unless the only voice we hear is the enemy speaking through discouragement.

The truth is—life is bigger than we. Period! But, we are not in this alone! We are not cast off, allowed to struggle unavailingly on our own. We have an awesome God! Psalm brings this into focus.

Ps 61:2-3

2 From the end of the earth will I cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting; lead me to the rock that is higher than I [yes, a rock that is too high for me].

3 For You have been a shelter and a refuge for me, a strong tower against the adversary.
AMP

This was the little nugget God handed me this morning after a day of pity-party throwing yesterday. I needed just such redirection! There are times when life seems too big--like an ocean tide that swells and comes crashing down upon us. The sand grabbing frantically at our feet—pulling us and knocking us down. We are swept away. We cough and sputter with mouthfuls of water, gasping for air. On our own we would surely drown. Enter our Mighty God!

How comforting to know that during these times, He is our sheltering rock. He lifts and places us high above our stormy situations. He places us securely on the rock. A solid place. A firm foundation. He becomes our shelter, our refuge, our strong tower in which we find peace and hope. He shelters us from our adversary, who sometimes comes disguised as overly large doses of discouragement and self-pity.

If only Satan could keep us here—we would remain defeated, he being our victor. And, oh, how he tries! But, God always makes a way of escape. And, if we find our self feeling too weary and overwhelmed to stand or fight the waves, we only need to call out to Him. When we realize we have no strength to climb into that safe place of shelter from the storm, He has promised to ‘lead [us] to the rock that is higher than [we]’.

In our own strength we fail. Looking to Him and leaning into His strength, He is able to lift us above the tossing waves to a place that is above ourselves, ‘yes, a rock that is too high for me’. A place our spirit can find rest that is only obtainable with the intervention of our very personal God. We could never arrive here on our own! But, God is our Rescuer and Refuge!

How thankful I am today of this simple reminder in Psalm 61 that when I feel like a failure, stuck in my dead-end pity-party, overwhelmed with the demands of life, I only really need to stop and call on Jesus. Whatever I need to accomplish that is impossible in my own strength, I can and will accomplish in His. He is able to place my spirit in the quiet refuge under the Father’s wing, allowing me to surrender my weaknesses unto Him until I am emptied and able to receive His power! And, it is there, high on the rock of His strength, that the enemy is defeated and my victory is won!