A Venting Moment: Oh, No You Didn't!

Ever been lifted high on one of those ‘aha’ moments only to plummet down again upon some secondary realization? Well, I just had one of those experiences. I know I write a great deal about books, but I really can’t help myself. I tend to immerse myself in those things that I particularly like!

I was so elated when I found four wonderfully priced books on sale at Barnes and Noble last week. I bought four books for $20! I felt I had almost stolen them away. I was happy and almost smug with my newfound treasures.

And then I got home and thought it over. I had already noticed the black marks in the store, yet for some reason they had not really registered. Not until I was home, stickers removed, and books stacked in front of me to admire, did I really began to get…..angry! I’m sure there is a good reason. But no matter what it is, it is not good enough for me. There along the tail edge of each book was a line drawn with black marker!! I seemed fixated on this mark for a bit. Noticing how it somehow sullied my books. They are brand new books. Sale books, but new nonetheless. Don’t they deserve the same respect as any other new book?

Why, oh why, would anyone put these marks on books? I cannot fathom an acceptable reason to scar a book with such black ugliness! I almost took them back. The more I looked at them and the more I thought about it, the more upset I became over such a gross injustice.

Okay! I know there are much weightier matters to concern myself with, but my love for books will not let me forget this mistreatment. (Come on, book lovers--I know you must agree??) I have not noticed if Barnes & Noble makes a habit of marking books in this manner. I do know that I will check into it on my next visit. And I also know that if I find this is their standard procedure, someone at the top will be getting a letter from me!

I’m serious! I’m still upset about it. And I’m not one to get upset easily or stay upset. But—they just rained on my look-at-my-great-bargain-of-books parade and I don’t like it!

And to think--I just bought a membership card!

Note:
On a return visit this week to Barnes & Noble, per two employees, I did find that it is a common practice for their warehouse to mark similar bargain books in this manner. I do not know if every B&N does this, but the store at Stonebriar Mall in Frisco, Tx. certainly does! I also sent a letter to the president of the company and await his response, confident that a solution can and will be found! I will update you as soon as possible!

It's Quirky

(photo--complements of Curtis Thompson)

Ok! I confess. I have quirks! Who doesn’t? For a while now I’ve thought it would be neat to sit down and list my peculiarities that sort of….well….define me in some way. I hope you will enjoy these.

For the brave, I’d love to hear about your own quirks so leave a comment, if you dare!

Quirk 1: TIME--I simply must know what time it is or I cannot fall asleep. I can be comfortable and in that place of pre-dosing, almost gone, and remember I forgot to look at the clock, and then I must roll over and look. Yes, I will check the time regardless of the inconvenience to my comfortable position. I simply must know.

Quirk 2: POSITION & TOE HUGGING--When turning in for the night I must first lie down on my left side. (Of course--my clock is behind me.) My right foot big toe and the toe beside it part ever so slightly and proceed to hug the heel of my left foot. I don’t know why I do this. I guess it feels good. But…whatever the reason, I find myself consistently doing the whole toe-hugging thing as part of the sleep ritual!

Quirk 3: TOE FLEXING--I use toe flexing--or toe wiggling, whatever you want to call it, to put myself to sleep. But, I also use it as a form of relaxation and contentment as well as an expression of anxiety. I haven’t always noticed this about myself so am not sure how long I’ve had such a quirky habit. I have noticed that my dad has a lot of fancy moves going on with his feet as well—perhaps a family quirk?

Quirk 4: THIGH PRESS—I cannot--and absolutely despise--sleeping with my thighs touching. This is a newer quirk which developed while I was pregnant, thanks to all the advice to sleep with a pillow between my knees. Well apparently the pillow and my knees have formed quite a relationship. I now cringe if my thighs touch…even slightly….so hello pillow!

Quirk 5: WATER—I never leave home without it! I generally carry a plastic thermal cup (because they don’t sweat) filled with iced water, complete with a straw. I carry it from room to room at home. It sits faithfully by my bedside at night. I’m a wateraholic! When I am out and about and my water glass is close to empty, I begin to panic. It doesn’t matter that I can stop and buy more or that I’m only a few minutes from home. I panic. My son has developed this same habit. Strange, you say? Why yes--that’s why it’s called a quirk!

Quirk 6: THE NUMBERS GAME--I like to---need to—add numbers together. A lot. I add my house number, phone number, birthday, social security number….if it’s a number, I’m going to add it up. My intention, or the object of the ‘game’, is to add or reduce so that everything equates to the numbers 1 or 7 or a combination of the two. If I simply cannot make this happen honestly, then I allow myself some cheats. For example, I will allow numbers to be reduced to equations that consist of equal numbers (no odds) with our without the use of 1 or 7. Here are a couple of examples:

*My age is 47….. (4+7) =11…..two ones is perfect!

*My house number is 3520….. (3+5+2+0) =10…..which is reduced to 1 since zero doesn’t count.

*My son is 6….. (7-1) =6…..Swell!

*Or the number 19….. (10+7+1+1) =19…..here I use my cheats!

I know this does not make sense…that is why it is so quirky. But I admit—I just love it! And oddly enough, I will remember a room number if I have ‘crunched’ the numbers better than just trying to remember the room number as it is. Go figure….

I am sure you see the senselessness of this little game, but beware—it does seem to be a bit contagious. Ask my friends!

Quirk 7: HANDWRITING—my handwriting has multiple personalities. Seriously! I write so many different ways, all depending on the mood I am in. While I generally prefer a keyboard to pen and paper, when I use the latter method, I must write with whatever pen just happens to fit my current mood. If I fail to meet this requirement, I simply cannot write worth a flip! There will be no flow and the handwriting will look terrible. Sometimes it is a particular color of ink that is demanded—as if my hand had a mind all its own. Err; make that ‘minds’ of its own! I have often been amused to see the differences in my handwriting. Sometimes I’m amazed at how neatly I can write, and frustrated that I cannot just sit down and duplicate that neatness at will. Noooo, I must wait for the hand to decide it wants to write neatly. Go figure!

Quirk 8: PERFECT PEN FIXATION (as my friend calls it)—It’s true. I am pickier about pens than you know. I hate fat pens. Can’t even wrap my fingers around them without recoiling inside. I don’t know why! They make me almost anxious. And then those thin and slim pens—forget it! Too thin to even take seriously--why bother! A perfect ‘June pen’ has to be the right thickness and the right weight—slightly heavy. I prefer blue ink—dark blue ink. Well, most of the time--unless I’m craving green or purple and once in a while….black! My demand of perfection toward pens changes from time to time and with mood, but for now I like the dark blue super fine rollerball ink. I even like super fine Sharpies, but their blue ink is not blue enough. Bummer! On a side note here, I also don’t want to have to spend a lot of money on a pen. I think $80 is the most expensive pen I own and it was a gift from my husband. I prefer the cheaper pens. I change my taste for pens too frequently to make a high dollar investment in just one, solitary pen. And, finally—I am on the lookout for a good fountain pen. Any suggestions?

Quirk 9: THE ‘HIGH BROW’---I have an unconscious habit of raising one single eyebrow—my left. I have received numerous comments about it—even from strangers. I seem to have no control over it as people ask me to do it again and I seldom can. The eyebrow seems to have a bit of attitude going on! I try to control it. I really do—especially in pictures…but more often than not—there it is—raised in attention and smirking in the way that only a lone eyebrow can.

Quirk 10: HOARDING—I am a packrat. At least that is what my husband would say. I prefer to think of myself as a collector of…well…almost everything. Even when I don’t mean to, I collect! I’m not like one of those certified hoarders you see on TV that can barely navigate their homes save for the narrow path they’ve made. No. I’ve not reached that level—yet! I find I seem to be unable to throw things away without anxiety issues. Take pens, for example. I have pens that are several years old stored in cigar boxes. It matters not that the ink has dried up or that lids are missing (and no way do I use pens with missing lids. Ever!!) Even when I know they have outlasted their function, the anxiety builds at the thought of tossing them. Sometimes I have to leave them out and tell my husband to toss them later, when I’ve forgotten about them, and not mention it to me. I have this problem with magazines too. Honestly, I try to throw them out, but as soon as I glance the cover I just know that I might want to read one of the articles featured there. I might...Really! (OK. Probably not!) This is my husband’s biggest sore spot with me, I think. The magazines. And then I have paper and notepads and crayons and markers and…well…oops—boxes. I love those decorative cardboard storage boxes. And indeed I should….I’ve got to keep all my collections—somewhere! Final thought here….you’d be surprised how many things come in handy when you keep them around. If you can find them, that is! (I was able to share special seashells with my son’s classroom this past year. I have had them for a good 20 years packed away in a box…and never used them…before now!)

Quirk 11: DOG-EARING—I have an obsession about people not dog-earing pages in books (magazines are okay.) I cannot stand it and will make it clear to my dog-earing friends (you know who you are) that under no circumstances will I lend them a book unless they give me their word that they will not dog-ear my pages. Books must be shown respect! My friend, Christi, pointed out to me how odd it is that I obsess over dog-earing but frequently highlight and write in my books. It’s simply not the same! Markings such as these merely enhance a book’s worth and beauty. Of course, I am precisely picky about which highlighter is used and how neatly things are written in the margin of my books! And…my book loving friend has a totally different approach on the subject. She has been known to tear out an entire page of a book to send someone. She does it in a most sacred way. If she ever sends me a page from a book, I will know it is an honor above all honors. Alas, I cannot embrace this action in spite of somewhat understanding it. Books are just…almost…sacred to me (not to be confused with idols, however.) Please, please---use a bookmark!

Author’s note: Notice I listed 11 quirks! Two ‘ones’=perfect numbers! I suppose I could have gone on to 17……

The Naked Emperor

The emperor has long been naked,
But no one seems to see.
Only a few dare to point it out;
A sin not easily forgiven—if ever,
And never understood.

In spite of thwarted reality,
We don’t want to know the truth.
Rather, we dwell in our prisons
Where we know what to expect.
We’d rather keep our comforts--
All things familiar.
Than risk standing alone

Yet, together we are entangled
In a web of falsities.
We will die here--
We will!

But we fool ourselves with our
Feel-good experiences.
We tell ourselves they validate our misconstrued truths.
We excuse ourselves--
while persecuting others;
When we focus on another’s failures
We forget about our own
How much easier to be the accuser than the accused!

Only truth can set us free,
And no one has the monopoly.
There is only One Truth,
And it resides not in walls made by man,
But in hearts formed by Truth, Himself.

The Ink-Tipped Sword

She dipped her sword in dark blue ink and placed it on the page
Voices--memories of the past had joined as one and raged
She knew the best and final way to lay the beast to rest
So now with sword to paper swift she hopes to pass the test

Things long laid dormant start to rise and finally speak their minds
Scabs and wounds of old—oozing secrets lost through time
To be heard is their demand—each begging to begin
With ink-tipped sword she ventures on to free them with her pen.

So much to say--yet words so few to paint the picture just
And yet the story must be told, no second thoughts—a must
Battle raging—much to lose, yet so much more to gain
Run on now words and fill my page and take with you the pain

Now if my story you should read, don’t just make use your eyes
For only through an open heart is heard the battle cries
For victory! And freedom! From the haunting of a past
The beast—conquered! Put to rest! Silenced at last

Let Freedom Ring!

Bibliomania—Part Two

Hi! My name is June and I am a Bibliomaniac!

I'm beginning to see that I may just need to lay down some rules about book buying, even though it goes totally against my great thirst for collecting. Okay, so I went shopping at the Dallas Half Price Books again…three days later! In my own defense, when my best friend, Christi, arrived in town, being a bibliomaniac herself (as well as my partner in crime in regards to breaking the bank on book purchases), I felt she deserved nothing less than her own trip to the Dallas store.

Tuesday, Christi and I departed with great anticipation of great book deals. This was her first trip there and the excitement was obvious. Christi drove as we conversed the entire way. I'll blame the poorly marked intersection as the reason we missed our turn and not our intense conversation. On the bright side, our 15 minute detour in the wrong direction afforded us the luxury of looking at some absolutely beautiful homes and landscapes near Highland Park in Dallas.

Christi was awed when she first walked through the doors of the bookstore. I was so thankful I got to share that moment with her, as I assumed she felt much as I had on the previous Saturday. There really is a lot to take in!

We stopped to eat lunch at the attached café and to grab a cup of coffee. No use shopping while hungry. Afterward we attempted to stay together and look around but finally realized that it just wasn't working. We split up and went our own separate directions, each of us having our own slightly different taste in books. Every now and again we would text each other and meet up to discuss our latest find.

Finally we headed to a table—a shopping cart full of treasures, and enjoyed some pastries and coffee while perusing eagerly through our books. We had spent about 4 hours shopping thus far. Wow—were there ever some books! We had a stack between us.

I tried to remind myself that I had already purchased 47 books for the month and that I really didn't need more. However, I had ventured to the fiction section in hopes to find some fiction with real meat on the bones. I checked out a few authors that were recommended to me based on previous reading. To add to my challenge, I happened upon the fiction sale and clearance section. What a delicious find! So many great deals for just a buck or two. Some things you just can't pass up!

At the table, books stacked high, enjoying our coffee and calorie-free (NOT) desserts, we began talking about our discoveries. Of course I had to look at all of her books and she at mine--just in case one of us had found something that the other needed. Actually, that happened. Thanks to her I got a great mushroom cookbook on clearance and another on making salsa. I had just told my husband I wanted to start making my own salsa!

I can't tell you how painful and time consuming it was, sorting through the many books trying to decide which ones would go home with me. I was pleased that I was able to walk away with only 13 books. Hey—do you see that stack of books in the photos! I thought 13 to be conservative! And--all but three were from the clearance section. Two that were not were for my son, Wesley, in honor of my promise to bring him something home if he was good for his daddy. A little book bribery goes a long way!

It was a perfect trip for me. All six hours! My best friend, books, coffee, and sweets! How do you top that one?!!

(above: the 7 books standing up were only $1 each. The Far Side was for the hubby)

To ice the cake, Christi, Wesley, and I headed to the pool to cool off and relish the day after our Dallas adventure. We had such a relaxing time in the water. We hung out until close to 11pm.

It is what I call a perfect day full of great memories…well, all except for one mishap, but that is not my story to tell!

I'm giving it an A+

Oh—I almost forgot! Concerning the rules I need to lay down for myself (see opening line):

(Maybe) I need to read at least 4 books before I go book shopping again.

Unless there is a super sale somewhere.

Unless I have a great coupon that will expire.

Unless I just happen across something--by accident, which I simply know will make my life better.

Unless….well……

I'm really trying to stick with the 'read 4 books before you buy more' rule of thumb, but….life happens.

I'll get back with you later on this one. Until then—read a book!

Bibliomania

As a Bibliomaniac, Saturday was a great adventure for me. We started a tradition in my family that rather than celebrate our birthday for a solitary day, we get entire birthday weeks. Saturday was the last of my birthday week and celebration of turning forty-seven. To borrow and old saying—it went out with a bang!

If you don’t like books and don’t like reading, then you probably won’t enjoy reading this I finally made the thirty minute trip to the Dallas, TX Half Price Books store! I am a big fan of Half Price Books, and have wanted to go to this one for quite some time. It is huge and is made even better by its accompanying Black Forest Café where you can enjoy coffee, tea, sandwiches, and a variety of sweets. What can be more perfect than a bookstore, books in hand and a hot—or iced as was the case, latte! Oops, did I fail to mention the comfy chairs?!

I was in my element! Because I savor the entire experience of shopping for books, meandering down most every isle, my husband and son, age 6, knew they needed a back-up plan while I shopped. After a bit of browsing, they headed to the nearby Dave and Busters to play some games and then visited Hobbytown USA. They were blown away by the latter as evidenced by the constant chatter all the way home over details of the store’s merchandise and cool displays. As of today, we are planning a repeat trip to a Hobbytown USA that is just up the street from us (who would have guessed—yay MapQuest)!

But back to me--the bibliomaniac, celebrating my birthday. I spent four hours perusing isles and looking through books. Prior to leaving I reorganized my iPhone list of books that I wanted. I typed it out in alphabetical order by author’s last name. I had four pages. To be extra certain, I took pictures of my present collection of books with my iPhone so that I could zoom in and check the books I already own just in case I came across something that I couldn’t recall having bought already. Are you starting to understand bibliomania a bit better?

(below: the cute journals I found--I especially love the big hair!)
After picking up two adorable journals (above), I headed to the Christian literature section. My favorite. I started at the ‘As’ and headed to the ‘Zs’. I was pleased to find several of the books from my list along with a few others. Next it was to the Psychology and self-help sections to pick up a couple more. And lastly I headed to the Literature section. I decided to go ahead and buy a couple pieces of fiction this go ‘round. I normally don’t buy fiction. I save that for library check-outs. But, now and again I come across an author I like enough to actually purchase the books with the intent to read them over and again.

In between the lovely browsing, I had an iced latte on two separate occasions and made two related trips to the bathroom. Naturally, there was a huge clearance section near the bathroom which I just simply had to browse. Lucky for me because

I found two great books just waiting for a home!


Above top: two bargain books
below: Lisa See--one of the fiction writers that I really enjoy.

All in all, I ended up with nineteen new books! New to me anyway—slightly used may be more accurate. I attempted to share my bliss with my husband and son, but they seemed to think my books purchases paled in comparison to their adventure to the hobby store and the new Terminator game at Dave and Busters. Oh, well! To each his own! I knew a few people on Facebook that would be thrilled with the news because they can appreciate books for the treasures they are!

(above: son's artwork at Macaroni Grill; he loves drawing on the table.)

Afterwards, as if I needed any more bliss, my family took me to a nearby Macaroni Grill. I ordered my all-time favorite make-your-own-pasta-dish. I had the whole wheat penne pasta with pesto sauce, roasted garlic, sun dried tomatoes, and fresh spinach. Yum! Prior to my main course, I got to try the new Mediterranean vinaigrette on my garden salad. It was truly amazing (I need to learn to make one like that!)

Heading home, listening to the details of my husband and son’s adventures, I was anticipating going through my new books, one by one, and reliving the experience of having discovered them there on the shelf. It was all I could do to listen to the conversation!

Presently the collection is sitting on the ottoman footstool waiting for me to make room for them on one of my many bookshelves. My husband reminds me that we are out of space on the shelves for books as if that is a deterrent to buying more books. I tell him that you can never have too many books and that stacks of books here and there look just fine!

I just realized that I have purchased 47 books from the Half Price Books store in a month’s time. OK, but before you judge me—let me just say that I bought them all at incredible prices and with percentage off coupons.

Happy end of a birthday to me….until next year!

I’m off to read a book!

Bib-li-o-ma-ni-a [bib-lee-oh-mey-nee-uh, -meyn-yuh]

--noun

Excessive fondness for acquiring and possessing books. (dictionary.com)

--or—

An exaggerated preoccupation with the acquisition and ownership of books.

(The American Heritage Dictionary)

Umpire of Peace

As the thermometer reading rises in acceptance of triple digit temperatures, my hope for an unusual & unseasonal bout of cold air swoons. I begin to envision things that can be done in the air-conditioned comfort of home. I plot how to avoid the out of doors and thus escape the exhausting heat. All the while I am trying my best to stifle the dread that always seems to accompany the extreme summer temperatures.

Nonetheless, I am not here to write about the heat (thank goodness), but rather another sort of thermometer that came to mind while reading Colossians this morning; an internal, spiritual thermostat of sorts. I speak of none other than the peace of Jesus in the heart of the believer.

Allow me to explain after reading the following scripture:

Col 3:15

15 And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always]. AMP

As Christians we are instructed to let peace rule as the umpire in our hearts. What would happen if we actually did this--all the time--in everything? What if each time we faced a desire to do, to go, to buy, to say, to act—we paused first to get the reading of our heart peace? And, we listened to that small still voice inside us that often can only be heard in terms of that feeling of peace or lack of such?

How would things change? What would be different?

Can you think of anything that you would not have done or would have done differently? I can think of so many. Items bought and never used that on impulse I felt I needed. The fitness club membership that I added that was never used but quite costly. That thing I said that I felt so uneasy about and now wish I could recant. Regrets: Regrets from failing to let Peace rule!

Sometimes I think we become too good at reasoning, justifying, making sense of why we should carry out our plans all the while ignoring the uneasy, unsettling feeling we have deep inside. Or perhaps the unsettled feeling just doesn’t make any sense. Perhaps that which we are looking at and longing for is truly needed and would appear to be such a blessing to us—it’s so sensible, but yet—that nagging lack of peace is consistently on the peripheral. We can’t explain it, so--we ignore it! Been there and done that one time too many.

Listen to what God’s word says about this peace in the following verse:

Phil 4:7

7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. KJV

The peace which comes to us is not a peace that comes from our own doing, our own reasoning, or our own intellect. Quite the contrary. This is a peace that comes from God which transcends our understanding and our reasoning ability. We are assured that by following it, it will keep our hearts and minds.

Being sensitive to the Spirit and the leading of the Spirit is often as simple as listening to our heart. I’m not referring to the heart that we so casually refer to which is the same as the soul of man which is comprised of the mind, will, and emotions. For it is here that the root of fleshly lusts reside and our sinful nature wishes to rule! I speak of the heart that refers to that core of the believer, his essence—man’s spirit, where the Holy Spirit resides. It is here that we find the small, still voice dwelling of which I speak.

The peace of Christ is a powerful indicator. Sometimes it is as simple as the unrest that we feel--even when it doesn’t make a bit of sense that we would feel such, cautioning us not to proceed as planned. Or, times when we have total peace over a decision (that also lines up with the Word of God) and are prompted to proceed forward in spite of the fact that it seems to make so little sense to the natural man. Or, in spite of the fact that it may seem so politically incorrect. Stay-at-home moms come to mind. I recall many stories of women feeling prompted by the Word of God and His Spirit to stay home and be moms first and foremost. That heart peace was so evident in their decisions and yet they knew it didn’t work on paper and didn’t make sense to the world that puts emphasis on possessions over all else. And yet, their stories are remarkable as they dared to live as they were led by the Spirit (evidenced by the peace), and the awesome ways that God supplied needs, opened doors, and even restored strained marriages! Somehow, through it all—God always knows best (imagine that)!!

At times when we find ourselves in a seeming constant state of unrest in our spirit, it would do us good to stop and examine ourselves before the Lord. It would be a good idea to pray and ask God to show us where we got off track and stopped following His will. When the peace leaves, more often than not, we are out of the will of God and following our own path. Somehow we have begun to follow our own desires and failed to seek the reading on the spiritual heart thermometer.

I can’t afford to live without the peace of God! It is the evidence of God’s promise that my heart and mind is being kept—kept in line with God’s will for my life and on the right path—the one that leads ultimately to the final prize of eternal life.

Stop and listen! Examine your own heart. Are you comforted by the peace of the Lord? And peace does not mean that your life is sailing smoothly without a trial. Not in the least! In the midst of our trials, our struggles, we can still find the heart peace that assures us that we are in His perfect plan!

If you find that you are lacking such peace and have been for a while, I encourage you to seek the Lord. He cares and will show you where you got off track and help you step back into His plan. We all find ourselves, from time to time, in places of unrest where God’s peace is nowhere to be found. Places where our thermostat readings have gone askew and are in need of adjustment. God will adjust us if we allow Him. We can’t conjure up lasting peace. Only the peace that comes from God, our Father, is genuine and able to carry us across the finish line!

Loving Father—thank you for the peace that you have promised us through Jesus Christ! Tune us in, Lord, making us sensitive to our inner heart—Your inner workings, and acutely aware of Your leading. Let our minds and hearts be kept secure in the peace that comes only from following Your will. Let that will-- Your will, be done in and through us!
In Jesus name we pray. Amen!

Discouragement

Sometimes it’s all too easy to get bogged down, overwhelmed, and discouraged by our circumstances. We may find our self, if not careful, deeply involved in our own pity-party. Discouragement—such a powerful tool of our enemy! It so easily swallows us, robbing us of hope and distracting us from our purpose. Our focus, amidst the discouragement, begins to shift until we become totally fixated on our insignificant smallness in contrast to our mounting obstacle of circumstances. And this is exactly what the enemy hopes for. But, as always, the enemy uses a twisted truth (thus a lie) as bate on his hook when hoping to lure us into despair. The truth is—we are much smaller than many of life’s challenges. Inept at handling so many crises on our own. But the truth doesn’t stop there, unless the only voice we hear is the enemy speaking through discouragement.

The truth is—life is bigger than we. Period! But, we are not in this alone! We are not cast off, allowed to struggle unavailingly on our own. We have an awesome God! Psalm brings this into focus.

Ps 61:2-3

2 From the end of the earth will I cry to You, when my heart is overwhelmed and fainting; lead me to the rock that is higher than I [yes, a rock that is too high for me].

3 For You have been a shelter and a refuge for me, a strong tower against the adversary.
AMP

This was the little nugget God handed me this morning after a day of pity-party throwing yesterday. I needed just such redirection! There are times when life seems too big--like an ocean tide that swells and comes crashing down upon us. The sand grabbing frantically at our feet—pulling us and knocking us down. We are swept away. We cough and sputter with mouthfuls of water, gasping for air. On our own we would surely drown. Enter our Mighty God!

How comforting to know that during these times, He is our sheltering rock. He lifts and places us high above our stormy situations. He places us securely on the rock. A solid place. A firm foundation. He becomes our shelter, our refuge, our strong tower in which we find peace and hope. He shelters us from our adversary, who sometimes comes disguised as overly large doses of discouragement and self-pity.

If only Satan could keep us here—we would remain defeated, he being our victor. And, oh, how he tries! But, God always makes a way of escape. And, if we find our self feeling too weary and overwhelmed to stand or fight the waves, we only need to call out to Him. When we realize we have no strength to climb into that safe place of shelter from the storm, He has promised to ‘lead [us] to the rock that is higher than [we]’.

In our own strength we fail. Looking to Him and leaning into His strength, He is able to lift us above the tossing waves to a place that is above ourselves, ‘yes, a rock that is too high for me’. A place our spirit can find rest that is only obtainable with the intervention of our very personal God. We could never arrive here on our own! But, God is our Rescuer and Refuge!

How thankful I am today of this simple reminder in Psalm 61 that when I feel like a failure, stuck in my dead-end pity-party, overwhelmed with the demands of life, I only really need to stop and call on Jesus. Whatever I need to accomplish that is impossible in my own strength, I can and will accomplish in His. He is able to place my spirit in the quiet refuge under the Father’s wing, allowing me to surrender my weaknesses unto Him until I am emptied and able to receive His power! And, it is there, high on the rock of His strength, that the enemy is defeated and my victory is won!

The Irony

There is no denying that warmer temperatures have danced in and out lately. And, no denying that I've had to switch the air from heat to cold. As I look around I see and smell the trees blooming and flowers opening. I would love to see it all with more enthusiasm, but it only reminds me of the hot summer that lays ahead. We are known here in Texas for our blistery summer days with triple digit temperatures! I know some of you out there love that. I despise it to the utmost!

But, today is the 1st day of spring and I awakened to seven inches of snow. What a contrast to see winter's snow masquerade spring's beginning off-shoots. What a sight! I don't know which one shone more brightly--the white covering on the ground or the huge smile across my face. I told my husband that it is obvious God has a great sense of humor to shower us with so much snow on this 1st celebrated day of spring! And I thanked the Lord wholeheartedly. I told Him I knew He had not sent it just for me but I was certainly thanking Him as if He had! I ADORE the snow!! I was born for the upper states. I know it! I was not born to live out the heat in a Texas town. The heat can dampen my spirit quicker than almost anything!

But this is not about me or the snow or the heat. It is about something entirely different, but something that I was reminded of while relishing the beauty.

God has the final say, doesn't He? No matter what others may say, or what society may dictate, or what the rules declare, God is God. He is in control! He can do whatever He will. He can make it snow when Nature has already opened her arms to receive the spring. And this thought, snow out of season, brings me hope.

No matter what, it is not over until God says so. He has a way of making each day new. Each day can be a fresh start. Just as the snow blankets everything giving it a clean, glimmering look, God comes into our lives daily with new mercy and new blessings.

Even when everything in your life dictates to you that you should give up, or that it is over, or that there is no more need to try in your situation. Even then, God in His perfect timing, shows up with Mercy and Hope--dusting over all the failures, questions, & pain, making the slate new and clean again beckoning us to believe once more. To try anew and not give up! He declares to us that there is hope and new possibility each and every day.

I love the first glimpse of the morning snow before anyone has walked through and disturbed it. With my 1st glimpse today, I just stood there in amazed appreciation, and then I thought about how much this is just like God. Each morning we wake up to a clean slate and only when we begin to drag our baggage of yesterday's failures and disappointments through it do we begin to see the freshness and newness sullied by our past. If only we could savor such newborn moments. Keep them fresh in undisturbed beauty. If only... Yet, we must decide what we will do with the new day of fresh snow. Will we make snow angels and snowmen to enhance the beauty that much the more? Will we rejoice in the new day upon us? Or will we clutter it with yesterday's shortcomings and the cruel dictates of Life that tell us we are finished?

Each day that we take a breath is a day to celebrate. We never know what it holds for us. Yet we know that God is there with us. Guiding us. Today may just hold the breakthrough you've been waiting for! Don't pick up yesterday's leftovers and drag them into today. Determine the path that you will make. Decide carefully where you will step. Lean into the Lord and follow where He leads.

This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it!

Mindsets

Many have situations or things about themselves they would like to change. I mean, do we ever not have something? I have my doubts. But, how do we go about changing? Where do we start? We can find the answer to this in Ephesians--take special notice of vs. 23.

Eph 4:22-24

22 Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion;

23 And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude],

24 And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God's image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness.

AMP


To change our behavior we must first change our mindset!

We must change the way we think about whatever it is we want changed. We must daily renew our minds! It’s a simple mathematical equation really: wrong thoughts lead to wrong actions and right thoughts lead to right actions! Sounds pretty simple when put that way.

So, what area in your life are you struggling with today? Take inventory of the thoughts and attitudes you hold toward that ’thing’ you are wanting changed. What do you see? You might be surprised. What we think is a powerful thing. Our thoughts, held long enough, become the truth that we respond to--even if our thoughts are far from truthful. Even when they are askew, we will embrace that which we think on long enough as our own truth. To break the cycle, we must take an honest look at ourselves.

A word of caution: It is easy during self-reflection to begin to compare ourselves to others and create for ourselves an atmosphere of defeat. Or, to use others to help us feel justified in our wrong thinking and acting. When we begin to lay out the pieces of ourselves, we must be careful to lay them before the Lord and to compare ourselves only to His Word. It is in this process of being open in fellowship with Him that true renewing of our minds occurs.

Our minds are renewed when we begin to see through eyes of faith. When we begin to see things as God sees them. Daily we must seek after God and be renewed. We need a fresh vision to take residence in our minds! We need God’s vision!


I applied this principle recently to a problem area in my life. When dealing with my own personal struggle to lose weight, I had to capture a new mindset for myself. I had to change some warped thinking. I had to quit telling myself I couldn’t do the work to lose weight because of the one hundred plus excuses I came up with. And--I had to quit waiting for someone to come along and do it for me.

I had to go before the Lord and ask for help. I desperately needed to be delivered from some very self-destructive habits!

And, I discovered a very powerful thought that frequently sabotaged my efforts. I noticed that I used excuses for overeating. Birthdays. A friend’s visit. Movie night. The weekend. Lots of little ‘celebrations‘. And each time, I would tell myself to go ahead and blow it off and start new tomorrow. Pretty soon I saw that each tomorrow seemed to hold its own celebration or excuse as to why I should, once again, put off eating right and exercising, until the next tomorrow. This was a very unhealthy pattern. One that left me needing to lose over 100 pounds!

One day as I was reading about the Proverbs 31 woman, I came across the scripture in verse 17 which states:


She girds herself with strength (spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task) and makes her arms strong and firm.

That was a light bulb moment for me. It was as if the Lord jumped right off of that page and spoke those words directly to me. I realized that I was not trapped in an overweight body without the power to change. I realized that I was not on this journey alone. God wanted me to be physically fit! He would not call me to do something that He would not empower me to do. I was not alone! He was my strength. He was not asking me to do it on my own, but asking me to surrender to Him to do it in His strength.

That moment I caught a glimpse of a much more fit me through the eyes of a loving Father. I saw that He wanted that for me. He desired that too! It was an empowering revelation. And, it was the start to my own renewed mindset concerning my body and my health.

I have cast off the old way of thinking and shredded the old habit that wanted me to ‘wait until tomorrow’ to get it together. We don’t have the promise of tomorrow. And Jesus prayed that God would give us our daily bread. Not weekly. Not monthly. Daily! He has given me wisdom concerning which new steps to take along my weight loss journey. And He has provided me the strength for each one. I even feel enthusiasm--born from the hope He placed in me that came from glimpsing how He saw me.

So--how about it? What are you waiting for? What lie(s) have you believed? What habit has kept you prisoner to a bad situation? Ask God to renew your mind. To give you a fresh vision. To help you see yourself through His eyes. Ask God to lead you and to allow you to make the necessary changes through His strength.

Feel Him beside you. You are not alone!

　

Sweet heavenly Father,

As we daily lay before you--sweep over us. Wash through us--scraping away the deposits of doubt and despair that have attached themselves. Swallow up the lies that the enemy has planted. Renew us in You and in Your purpose. Sweep our minds clean of anything other than what reflects You. Give us new vision to see ourselves and our circumstances as You do…with hope…with endless possibilities. Allow us the privilege of feeling Your presence and remind us throughout our day that we are not alone. That You are our strength. Go before us and be light to our pathway. Oh, Lord--heal us (of wrong thinking & doing) and we will be healed. Save us (from the results of skewed thinking) and we will be saved! (adapted from Jer. 17:14)

In Jesus Name,

Amen

　

　

Faith that Works

I was reading in James chapter 2 this morning when I came across the well-known verse dealing with faith and works and concluding that faith not backed by works is dead. Agreeably, I stopped to ask myself, 'what works in my life can I say reflect my faith? What deeds can I say I've done that support my faith?' And I kept asking myself this question because I could not come up with any concrete answer. I found this disturbing!

I took these questions with me as I took my morning walk. And I kept asking myself and kept feeling frustrated with my inability to find an answer.

Then it hit me--I couldn't find an answer because I was walking around looking upward into the sky for some great monumental skyscraper of a thing that I had done that had Christian written in flashing lights. I was simply looking in the wrong place.

I wish I could say to you that my faith has lead me to dangerous missions work where my life is constantly at risk. That would sound grand. But I cannot. And I realized, that is OK.

So I took a glance back on the year past and asked the question yet again, this time looking more at the path where I had walked, and the little tidbits of leaves and stones and debris scattered across it. And I saw the truth. It is in those little things scattered throughout our life where our faith can be seen--where its fruit is evident.

Simple works! Smaller deeds! And I began to see some of my faith sprinkled along the way. Times when I kept a friend's children so that she could be with her husband on an outing instead of relaxing to that movie I'd anticipated all week. Meals cooked and shared with others. A phone call to say 'I'm thinking of you' or 'you were on my mind.' An open house to family needing a place to stay--giving up a bit of privacy and my customary way of doing things to be accommodating. All these little things where we sacrifice ourselves for another show our faith in God. They speak of love. And loving one another is at the very heart of God. These deeds show our faith's attempt at embracing the whole of who God is in us.

James says it is not enough to see others in need and simply say I'm praying for you. If your brother is hungry--feed him. If he is thirsty--give him a drink. That is faith in action!

So, perhaps faith in action is demonstrated when, in Wal-mart, you allow the woman behind you with the child approaching meltdown to go ahead of you in the checkout line. In spite of the fact that you are rushed and tired and hungry. Or maybe it is surrendering the parking place to the woman with the car full of children, even if it means you will have to walk farther and it is raining. And maybe it is acted upon when you decide to cook the meal your husband really wants that takes a couple of hours in the kitchen. Even if a bowl of oatmeal would have been enough for you. And you still have a long to-do list. And your back hurts.

Are you getting the picture? In some way our life must express our faith in God, our belief in Him--our Christianity. If it doesn't then we might need to ask ourselves why. It's not enough to merely confess our faith; we must live it--out loud!

So, ask yourself the question today that I asked myself. And be encouraged when you can see the fruit of your faith. I was. I was encouraged and inspired to do more. To love more. To care more. To give more.

In the end, after all, the goal is really about becoming more like Jesus. And our faith in God and that He dwells within us should be lived out in such a way that it brings us closer to this goal.


What are you doing to live your faith aloud?




^14-17Dear friends, do you think you'll get anywhere in this if you learn all the right words but never do anything? Does merely talking about faith indicate that a person really has it? For instance, you come upon an old friend dressed in rags and half-starved and say, "Good morning, friend! Be clothed in Christ! Be filled with the Holy Spirit!" and walk off without providing so much as a coat or a cup of soup—where does that get you? Isn't it obvious that God-talk without God-acts is outrageous nonsense? (James 2:14-17, The Message)

Monuments

After a rushed morning I finally got out the door for my morning walk. I had no scripture to ponder. No thoughts to toss around for my blog today. In the push this morning (I overslept), I didn't get to have my morning Bible time. That always leaves me feeling unprepared!

In this part of Texas we don't get much snow for the most part. Some winters we don't see a single flake, and when we do see flakes, it is all you will hear about on the news. People flock to the stores to stock up on groceries at the forecast of flurries. We take our snow flurries seriously! A half inch of snow here is like a full blown Texas snowstorm! It's no joking matter (especially for those like myself who adore the snow and cold).

Well, we had a true snowstorm this past week, closing down schools and other activities.We had a record breaking 11 inches in some places. It was delightful. And beautiful. And almost surreal. I couldn't stop looking at it and marveling over it. I took so many pictures, as if I could somehow preserve the moments forever. Pictures don't quite convey the true breathtaking qualities of a thing, but they are good reminders at least.

The snow began to melt away this past Saturday and is basically gone today, except for a few shady spots still clinging to their white covering. But, as I walked up my own street this morning I was amazed at the huge chunks of left over snowmen still standing, at least in part.

Only this morning in my sunny backyard, I noticed a lone army helmet sitting on the grass--the same helmet that on Friday was bravely worn by a courageous snowman built by my husband and son. There it was--just a memory of what had been.


There is a park in eye's view of our home. During our two days of snowfall, it was a haven for happy children--busy rolling balls of snow to assemble snowmen, forming bunkers for snowball fights, or simply seeing who could create the largest of snowballs.

Today you would never know that we had even had a snowstorm last week, except for fragments of those snowmen and snowballs still standing.

It struck me as amusing looking across

the field of that park--

barren except for those

few snow mounds.

And then it made me think how much our life is like that sometimes. How fresh and new things begin only to become fragments of memories later, or memories long ago melted into the distant recesses of our minds. But, there are always those certain things done or said or experienced that stick with us. In spite of life going on, those things remain upright at the forefront of our minds. Just like those snow mounds.

Some of those remaining memories bring a smile to our faces or hope to our senses, while others are devastating reminders of things we would rather forget. Mistakes. Regrets. Opportunities lost.

Life is sort of like building a snowman amidst the layers of snowfall. Parts will melt away. Parts will remain. We are all building something. But what? What will you leave behind one day? What memories are vivid to you today? What will others remember when they consider your life?

I hope to build strong memories that will last and stand even when all else seems to have melted away. I want those memories to center around my love for God--above all else!

Someday, when my child looks back to remember what I was like, I want him to first see the huge mounds of God in my life. My love for God as well as for my family. Maybe he'll remember some of the fun things we did together, the books we've read, movies we've seen, places we have gone. Or maybe some of the long and lengthy conversations we have had. But I want my legacy--my true legacy, to be that of a God-fearing woman. The Proverbs 31 woman.

If I can be remembered as one who lived for and loved God above all else, it will be enough! I can think of no greater, more honorable thing to leave standing in my life.

So much of what we find ourselves busy doing, that we think really matters in our lives today, doesn't. It won't last. It will melt away. But if I can imprint my family and friends with my love for God and share that relationship with them, I will feel I have left behind that which truly matters the most.

Maybe it would be good for us to pause and take a look--take inventory if you will, of what kind of legacy we are leaving. We all leave one. No way around that!

What kind are you leaving?

What will you impart to those who know you that will remain standing?

Feasting

You know how you are reading along in the Word of God and something just jumps out at you? Well, I’ve learned such places are the ones that I especially need to stop and give attention to. So, I spent an hour walking this morning and talking to the Lord about the following scripture:

Prov 15:15

15 All the days of the desponding and afflicted are made evil [by anxious thoughts and forebodings], but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast [regardless of circumstances].

I looked up the word ‘despond’ and it means those depressed by lack of hope.

Depression. Loss of Hope. Anxiety. Worries. Forebodings. Words I am familiar with and feel certain you are too. It is impossible to sail through the sea of Life without meeting these at some point.

A glad heart and a continual feast. I like that part! But, I really like the part that says we can have a glad heart and continual feast regardless of circumstances. Does something in you shout out, as it does in me—is that even possible??

I admit that I struggled with this verse. I kept asking myself, what is it really saying? And finally I realized that it really comes down to one word: CHOICE!

I see two tables prepared. Two very different and opposing feasts. One is prepared by our enemy and filled with anxiety, hopelessness, worries, and despair. Feasting at such a table leaves you with more than just a severe case of reflux! It takes away your vision. It strongly encourages you to look through the eyes of flesh and thus allow circumstances to dictate your outcome. It woos you to embrace hopelessness. It whispers that you should just give up. It is a defeatist chair that pulls up to that spread!

And then a different table--a table set with laughter and joy. With lightness of heart. One which encourages the shedding of burdens and not of hope. That dishes up possibilities on plates of Faith. No anxiety, worry, foreboding, or depression on this table. Those have been pealed and scraped away and tossed into the garbage bowl. Only nourishment of the purist kind is presented here.

And I continued to think about those two tables. Most of us can say that we have been a guest at both tables. I know I can.

I’m reminded of a lesson from Psychology class. Studies have shown that the mere act of smiling (even when not feeling anything to smile about) actually has a chemical effect on the body that creates the good feelings that the smile normally reflects. Smiling like you are happy actually produces feelings of happiness. Try it and see. Smiling is a powerful thing!

What is my point? My point is that we must chose where we will feast. And yes--we can! Paul said that he had learned to be content in whatever state he found himself (Phil 4:11). And he found himself in some pretty bad situations. He sang from jail. Standing in feces, amidst the stench in his cell, he sang! How could he? He learned to feast at the Master’s table. He learned to use the second set of eyes—faith eyes that see things that are not as if they already were.

And we can learn it too!

Regardless of our circumstances, we can maintain hope—because our Hope is in Jesus! And our joy comes not from some mustering of our own as much as it comes from the Lord. As Nehemiah said, “the joy of the Lord is your strength” (Neh 8:10 KJV).

The only reason we can feast continually, regardless of circumstances, is because we have feasted on God and His Word and choose to see things through the eyes of faith. Again, it comes down to choice.

It is an easy thing of which to write. Much harder to live out. Sometimes Life does seem impossible. It is a constant struggle. But, when I find myself struggling rather than feasting on the joy of the Lord, I realize that I am relying too much on myself, my strength, what I can and cannot control, etc., inviting cares and anxieties to overcome me and lure me to the table of my enemy. I am reminded again that I must follow the instruction of 1 Peter 5:7 which states:

7 Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. (AMP)

Do you know what robs you of your continual feasting at the Master’s table? Worry and anxiety. Cares!

I know there is a time and season for everything including mourning and weeping (Eccl 3:1, 4), but through it all we can be refreshed and refueled by the Master’s feast which he prepares for us—even in the presence of our enemy (Ps 23:5). Perhaps your enemy is worry. Or a debt that can’t be paid. Or sickness. Or the loss of a loved one. Whatever your enemy is, God still offers you a chance to feast on His joy and His strength. He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear. Eyes and ears that are attuned to His and thus see and hear what God sees and hears--eyes of Faith. There we find hope!

Where have you been feasting lately? It will be clear by the examination of your thoughts—where have your thoughts been lately? Are you trusting or doubting? Believing or desponding?

I encourage you to feast on the Lord! Taste and see that He is good! Drink in His joy. Savor the possibilities he offers. The cost is minimal: He merely asks for you to bring him your worries, your cares, your sorrows—those weights that so easily beset you. He takes those, unburdening you so that you may freely feast. And the desert is an overflowing dish of contentment!

You and I can’t do this alone. We can’t overflow with joy in the midst of trials on our own strength. We must lean into Him. We must empty out our worries and that which weighs us down so that we can be filled with Him. Filled to the point of overflowing. That is the secret. He gives us joy unspeakable!

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to pull my chair up to the Father’s table today and just see what good eatin’ He has prepared!

Breathe You In

Once upon a time--suffocating,
Gasping for every breath.
Wondering how long I'd survive,
Emotionally close to death!

Then YOU!

Emotional airwaves opened
Freely breathing once again,
Intoxicated by your aroma--
Living to take it in!

I breathe you into my being--
The very essence of you!
The scent brings with it healing,
So much heartache to undo.

I wake with expectation--
Breathing deeper, deeper still;
I breathe you in completely
Until my soul is filled.

I breathe you in completely
Until my soul is filled!

----------
I wrote this poem (and I'm no poet) for my husband back in October '09. I thought today, being Valentine's Day, would be the perfect time to post it. I was reflecting on how thankful I am to have such a wonderful, loving husband. And remembering a time in my life past when I could not say that and yet longed for the ability to do so.

My only regret with my husband is that I did not find and marry him years sooner!

I spent 17 emotionally distraught years with a man that was incapable of functioning at an adult level and, thus, left me empty and feeling hopeless. The pain of that relationship permeated my being. Celebrations that hinted of love in any form left me gasping for air!

(That said) my point being how amazed I am that true love found can erase such deep etchings of pain. I never thought to be free from the chains that held me to my inner turmoil of a relationship gone wrong. Very wrong. The deep loss and the many years of mourning and trying to make the best of it reshaped me. I thought I would never be the same. And, perhaps I am not. So much of my character was formed during that time.

But the pain that haunted me--is now a mere shadow passing by every now and again as something reminds me and takes me back to that other time, a time that seems forever ago and almost as if it never was.

It is amazing how true love found can make one forget! Today is not about my past. It is about my present. It is about the here and now that I share with a man that I love with all my being. Yet, the dark days of my past make the brightness of today all the more bright. The contrast is distinct.

I want my husband to know how much I love him and how thankful I am, that in breathing him in, his loved washed through me, cleansing me and setting me free from so much pain. He gave me a reason to dream again. A new reason to awaken each day.

His love to me is yet another reflection of the way my God loves!

So, this Valentine's day I am happy to celebrate love! I am, after all, married to my Valentine of Valentines!

Two Sets of Eyes

I was sort of hoping to talk some more today about the Proverbs woman, but another thought has forced its way to the forefront of my mind. This morning I was reading Psalm 13. I could hear the desperation in David's voice as he cried out to God:

Prov. 13:1-2 (Amplified version) How long will you forget me, O Lord? Forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long must I lay up cares within me and have sorrow in my heart day after day? How long shall my enemy exalt himself over me?

Wow, talk about having a wilderness moment! I gather David has felt like he's been in the wilderness for a while now. He feels forgotten. Alone. Can't you hear him asking, "God, where are you???? I'm desperate for you here!" Who hasn't been there? If you live long enough, you are going to encounter a wilderness spot.

And then I read the next verse, the one that really grabbed my attention:

vs. 3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; lighten the eyes (of my faith to behold Your face in the pitchlike darkness), lest I sleep the sleep of death. vs. 4 Lest my enemy say, I have prevailed over him, and those that trouble me rejoice when I am shaken.

Wow! Did you catch it? David is asking God to open his eyes of faith so that he can see God in the pitchlike darkness! Have you ever found yourself in a place so dark and quiet that you couldn't sense, see, feel, hear God-- at all? Where you wondered if He was even there? Wondered if He had left you..alone...to die?

Wilderness moments. Places we encounter where things just don't seem to make any sense. What are we to do? Places of great struggle which exhaust us, that demand from us but offer nothing in return. Do we give in to the despair? The loneliness? The sense of hopelessness that chokes us? Let's see what David did.

vs. 5 But I have trusted, leaned on, and been confident in Your mercy and loving kindness; my heart shall rejoice and be in high spirits in Your salvation. vs. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me.

Did I read that right? In the midst of his despair, does David actually say he will be confident and rejoice? Even sing? HOW--my mind screams out! How can he do that in his wilderness? And then I am directed back to the key found in vs. 3 during his prayer to God to open his eyes of faith so that he can see God in his pitchlike darkness.

He uses his other set of eyes! His eyes of faith. He illustrates such a great contrast to us of the two sets of eyes that we each have. The first half of this Psalm allows us to view, with David, through eyes of flesh. We see the despair. We feel the intense forsaken feelings. We are disoriented by the unrelenting darkness. We are weary from the struggle. We taste defeat. Been there?

But then David turns to the Lord to ask for help so that his eyes of faith can be opened. And, again, we are allowed a glimpse through those eyes alongside David. What is there to see? We see a trustworthy God capable of holding us up in His Mercy and loving-kindness. One Who is too full of mercy and kindness to leave us forever in the state of our wilderness. One Who will not allow our enemy--our situation, our failures, to mock us and jeer, because He will not leave us forsaken and defeated to our enemy's advantage.

In the midst of this vast nothing, staleness, pain, isolation, failure, seeming defeat, we gain our voice and sing with rejoicing because we see again through opened eyes of faith to a situation that, in the light of who God is, looks totally different. We see through eyes of faith straight into the eyes of our God and at that moment, we see not our lack, not our need, not our voids, but we see His bountiful provisions. His abundance of mercy. Abundance of love. His magnificent power at work in our lives.

Our wilderness has not changed. Our view of it has. Why? Because of faith!

Hebrews 11:1 (KJV) states:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

The Amplified version breaks it down a bit to say that (me paraphrasing) faith is the assurance of the things we hope for, being the proof of things we do not see--or, "faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses."

Faith tells us that God has not forsaken us. That we are not defeated. That the pitchlike darkness won't last forever. It reminds us of our Bountiful God, His love and mercy, and our victory through Him. It reminds us that God has a plan for us and that He will most certainly see it completed. It reiterates to us that we are not alone. That no matter how many times we fall down, we are not a failure. That no matter how many mistakes we make, we are not hopeless. We're never cast aside and forgotten by our God. And that no matter what we are up against, regardless of its magnitude, our God is greater still!

In short, faith is seeing through God's eyes what we cannot see through our human, fleshly eyes. It's looking past the here and now. Looking ahead to what God knows is there. Spotting our victory, our restoration, or perhaps our healing. It's a steady beacon of hope to us that with God all things are possible. With God there is no failure. And, if we think about it, faith gently reminds us that this wilderness, this place of forsaken darkness--this too shall pass!



God, help me to see through eyes of faith. Help me so that I am not dictated to and limited by only what my fleshly eyes can see and comprehend. Open my eyes of faith today that I might behold you in all of your Glory! That I might see your endless possibilities for my life. Remind me through those same eyes that in You, I am an overcomer! Amen.

A New Woman

You know those resolutions we all make at the start of the year? Well, I was reflecting on one of mine this morning. In addition to making health my priority this year, I also captured a new vision of the type of woman I'd like to become. I saw her while reading through Proverbs 31:10-31. She wasn't new. I'd seen her before. But a challenge rose in me while reading through it again near the close of the past year. A challenge to become more like her and less like me. Needless to say, my husband jumped on board with his support on this one! I mean, really--have you read it? What man wouldn't want a woman like that!

So as I walked through the neighborhood this morning, I decided to forgo the radio preaching and concentrate on this Proverbs woman. In order to build something we have to know something of how it is supposed to work. We have to understand how the pieces should fit together. So it makes sense that if I want to be more like the Proverbs 31 woman, I have to understand her makeup.

I did a breakdown of the scriptures this morning, making a list of her characteristics. It's a bit lengthy. Even more overwhelming. If you are at all curious as to what makes her so special, read the following list of her attributes:

She is capable, intelligent, virtuous (good morals & ethics), and trustworthy.
She is a comforter, encourager, takes initiative and is hard working.
She is resourceful as well as a planner--and thus prepared.
She is an early riser, seeking God first and putting Him first in her life.
She delegates, is not impulsive, is frugal with her money and time (has good time management).
She purposely prepares herself so that she is sound spiritually, mentally, and physically.
She is rewarded by her own fruitfulness.
She is steady, even through the night (darkest times) and a consistent light (because the light of God consistently shines through her)to comfort and encourage others in their night.
She gives and ministers to the needy and poor. She is generous and kind.
Again, she is prepared and sees to it that her family is prepared.
She takes pride in her home, so that it is decorated and presentable.
She builds the esteem of her husband with her character that brings him respect among others.
She is wise and gives wise counsel and instruction.
She is the overseer of her household.
She's not given to gossip or self-pity--she is contented, respectful, cherished and honored by her family.
She reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord.
She reaps good from the fruit of her labors and the works of her hands.
She excels all other biblical women, regardless of their great character (vs.30)

If you are left feeling inadequate compared to how you felt before reading that, you are not alone. I asked myself at the end of this list, 'now what made me think I could take on this challenge?'

All those characteristics floated around my thoughts as my feet hit the pavement in a steady rhythm. Then I realized that she is not an actual person, but rather the blueprint of the woman that God desires all of us women to be. He is the Master builder after all. So to become this woman, I must seek God and his blueprint. It is beyond my power to become such a woman on my own. But it is by no means out of God's realm to bring it to fruition.

So, we are back again to the baby steps. I would that I could say some magical words and snap my fingers and---ta-da! The perfect Proverbs 31 woman appears. Wouldn't that be grand!

Reality check. That's not going to happen and just like the weight loss, I've got to break it down in pieces and work on it little by little.

It seems only logical that we start with the most crucial part--rising early and seeking God first! OK, I know some of you are not early risers (I hear the moans), but the point is that before we rush off to do life in our own way, we need to get in touch with God. We need to seek Him and his wisdom. We need to learn to lay aside our wills, wants, desires, etc., and begin working in His! In a nutshell--God must be our first priority!

There is no other way to be a Proverbs 31 woman aside from seeking God's blueprint. Personally, I don't see the possibility of ever being content in life, truly content, short of becoming the woman that God has already seen in me and foreshadowed to me in Proverbs 31.

This is my challenge! I don't know what you think about it. Maybe you'll pick it up as well. But nonetheless, I'm going for it. And regardless of the work it is going to take, I know that in the end, I will reap the benefits--the fruit of my labor! And, to top it off--so will my man!

I'm sure I'll be talking with you more about this throughout the year. I've got a long ways to go. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the subject as well!

Sometimes Smaller is Bigger

I was pleased to step on the scale this morning to find I had lost a total of 10.5 pounds since the 1st of the year. It's been a struggle. The truth is, I have a small person in pounds to lose. That could be really discouraging if I chose to dwell on that fact. Been there. Done that. Was most ineffective, I might add.

I noticed something--when I got swept away with staring at the 100 plus pounds that I hoped to lose, it was overwhelming. It felt hopeless. Way bigger than me (no pun intended). The best solution was another piece of chocolate (sigh). Well, as you can imagine, a few chocolate pieces later I was even more miserable. Chocolate, albeit amazing, was not the answer to my weight challenged dilemma!

My solution, with the help and encouragement of a very good friend (thanks, Deana!), was to break it down into smaller chunks. I tend to be more inclined to want to tackle everything all at once and be done with it already. That may work OK when you are facing last minute news that company is to arrive in a couple of hours and have a mess of of house to deal with. Kicking it into high gear and getting it all done at that point is crucial (have been there way too many times).

But I've noticed something that is true, at least for me. Sometimes trying to tackle the big things all at once sets me up for failure. Like so many, I want everything finished yesterday. I want the 100+ pounds gone already. Yes--100+! Argh!

I've tried many things with my weight challenge and here is what I have finally found to be successful. I had to find something that worked for me as far as exercise goes. Walking is my thing--complete with iPod and Scottie dog. I cherish my time out alone. I had to eat in a way I knew I could live with for the rest of my lifetime, summary--lifestyle change! I had to make health a priority. Period! And, as much as I had hoped that someone would, I realized no one was going to do it for me. I had to do the work myself. That was tough to swallow. One day I realized how much easier it was to just complain or make excuses and wait. Wait? On what, I asked myself finally. And then, looking myself square in the eyes I had to get tough when I said aloud no one is going to do this for you. You have to do it for yourself!

So, I took baby steps.

First, I changed my diet and eating habits. I cut out most of my eating out and began cooking almost all our meals at home. I changed primarily to organic foods. That went on for a good year. Weight loss--minimal!

Second, I began working in movement. I tried an aqua workout. Went pretty well. Lost about eight pounds and then I quit going. It was just too time consuming for my life to keep up for any length of time, enjoyable as it was.

Enter the holidays. Christmas goodies. Welcome back eight lost pounds plus a few of their buddies. I started the 1st of this New Year at my top weight. I was depressed and overwhelmed. And bottom line, I was desperate.

I started walking. I signed a six weeks contract with with my dear friend agreeing to walk 15 minutes a day for 3 days minimum. It was easy. It was doable.

I jumped to 20 minutes right away. On the treadmill. Soon I was outside walking the neighborhood. It was hard. My left hip joint ached and my legs grew weary--even at 20 minutes. Hey--it had been quite a while! The aches and pains captured my attention for the entire walk. I was pooped when I got home and continued to ache for some time. I dreaded it each time I knew I must walk. I admit that I wondered at that point if it was even possible to keep up with it? I wondered if I would ever find freedom from this weight that holds me captive!

But I kept it up. I slowed down. Cut out all the inclines. I just kept going! One month later I have developed a relationship with the sidewalks throughout my neighborhood. I no long feel the aches and pains to the degree that they demand my attention. I've increased my walking time to one hour. Ten and a half pounds later, I'm feeling most optimistic. And on the plus side (again, no pun), I look forward to going walking now--although I don't show it with the enthusiasm even close to that of my Scottie dog, Stormie! She is a sight to behold at the mere mention of the words 'walk' and 'leash'!

A couple of weeks into my walking, I began counting calories. Bothersome, yes--but the accountability is priceless and my scale is rewarding me with lower numbers!

So, how about you? Got a project that needs to get done but seems to swallow you up? Can I encourage you to break it down into smaller pieces. Stop looking at it as a whole. Set yourself a timer. Agree to work 15 or 20 minutes on one area and then quit. You will be amazed at how much you will accomplish and how much more smoothly it will go.

I plan to keep going all the way to my goal weight. I'm doing it in 10lb. segments at a time. It's not so large that way.

Sometimes those baby steps make all the difference in the world! Like I said yesterday--just do something! It doesn't have to be a large thing. Just bite off a small piece and give it a chew.

You can do it!

I am!!