Breathe You In

Once upon a time--suffocating,
Gasping for every breath.
Wondering how long I'd survive,
Emotionally close to death!

Then YOU!

Emotional airwaves opened
Freely breathing once again,
Intoxicated by your aroma--
Living to take it in!

I breathe you into my being--
The very essence of you!
The scent brings with it healing,
So much heartache to undo.

I wake with expectation--
Breathing deeper, deeper still;
I breathe you in completely
Until my soul is filled.

I breathe you in completely
Until my soul is filled!

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I wrote this poem (and I'm no poet) for my husband back in October '09. I thought today, being Valentine's Day, would be the perfect time to post it. I was reflecting on how thankful I am to have such a wonderful, loving husband. And remembering a time in my life past when I could not say that and yet longed for the ability to do so.

My only regret with my husband is that I did not find and marry him years sooner!

I spent 17 emotionally distraught years with a man that was incapable of functioning at an adult level and, thus, left me empty and feeling hopeless. The pain of that relationship permeated my being. Celebrations that hinted of love in any form left me gasping for air!

(That said) my point being how amazed I am that true love found can erase such deep etchings of pain. I never thought to be free from the chains that held me to my inner turmoil of a relationship gone wrong. Very wrong. The deep loss and the many years of mourning and trying to make the best of it reshaped me. I thought I would never be the same. And, perhaps I am not. So much of my character was formed during that time.

But the pain that haunted me--is now a mere shadow passing by every now and again as something reminds me and takes me back to that other time, a time that seems forever ago and almost as if it never was.

It is amazing how true love found can make one forget! Today is not about my past. It is about my present. It is about the here and now that I share with a man that I love with all my being. Yet, the dark days of my past make the brightness of today all the more bright. The contrast is distinct.

I want my husband to know how much I love him and how thankful I am, that in breathing him in, his loved washed through me, cleansing me and setting me free from so much pain. He gave me a reason to dream again. A new reason to awaken each day.

His love to me is yet another reflection of the way my God loves!

So, this Valentine's day I am happy to celebrate love! I am, after all, married to my Valentine of Valentines!